I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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