If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize