You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
