It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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