So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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