CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize