so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
