PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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