p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
