VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
