please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
