i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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