Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
