even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
