He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize