I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
