I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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