Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am one with the molecules
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
