we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
