i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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