i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
now i know why i became what i already was.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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