dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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