U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
