I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you didnt know i had herpes?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize