There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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