In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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