i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
