Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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