We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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