Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
