Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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