I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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