i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
