woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize