Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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