4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
