I should be sponsored by Trojan
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
