I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
my poor anus
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
