I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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