: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
too bad you live with your parents still
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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