my mouth tastes like poor choices
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
