Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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