belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
