OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
