i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
