Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
