so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
