If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
