I wish my penis had an off switch
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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