Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
do herpes really smell.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
