when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
