are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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