Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
