Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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