I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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