Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
