Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
