Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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