If that was your dad, he is hot
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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