Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
