I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
