What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
