Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
