Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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