Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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