Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
