i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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